JUST A THOUGHT

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

GO AHEAD - Have another smoke :(

I guess it gets interesting now. All the test results are in. MRI's, CAT scans, xrays, blood work, etc.... and of course I was pretty worried. The "not knowing" can make ya crazy eh. So keeping a long story short,,,, the cancer in the right lung is in the middle, at the bottom of the lung. To make the picture more interesting,, there is also a "problem" lymph node at the top opening of the same lung. And then to top it all off, the heart doesn't pump blood to the bottom part of the heart when the beats get up to 120 (or mild exercise, cardio). That makes the heart a bit of an issue for surgery.

So,, the next step is a visit with a lung surgeon for 3 different proceedures.
1) Lung biopsy - if they can reach the area in the middle at the bottom ????
2) Small cut in the front of the throat - down ya go with some interesting piece of equipment to take a piece of that "problem" lymph node
3) A lung wash, and maybe take a little fluid for sampling

These test should tell "what kind of cancer it is" and can it be removed ???? And a bunch of other questions that I could list but I think it's obvious eh.

From there a decision will be made on surgery, and I'm off to chemo and radiation.
Oh my God,,, I am sort of out of "funny things to say". My doctor did have some good news. He "thinks" I can beat it. lololol, Guess it's better than the other.
I am scared but I have a terrific support system.

First I have God. And that is my biggest supporter and that is where I will keep my hopes and dreams.

Then I have Denise, Nipper, John, Lynn, Jo, Teresa,Charlotte, Toby, Auntie Lori and Uncle Chuck, and the prayers of all my very close friends.

I'm content with that. I guess I will have my moments but right now, it's so new to me that I am a bit stund.

But, don't forget that I am also a fighter. Always have been. You know that I am going to tackle this with all that I have. I WILL WIN !!!! AND DON'T YOU GUYS FORGET IT.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

Hi guys ! Well this may very well be the most important Christmas message I ever write. I could say all kinds of stuff like Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, God Bless you and keep you in His care but.... I have decided to just say I LOVE YOU and my wish for all of you is.....BE KIND TO EACH OTHER.
Susan Mary Annette Bajona Chambers

I THINK LIFE IS CHANGING ?

Well it's been awhile since I posted anything here. There has been lots of changes in the past couple of weeks. I don't think I mentioned this before but I woke up a couple of weeks ago and noticed something different with my left hand. For some reason I couldn't close my fingers. There is no pain but those fingers just don't want to close. At first I didn't think much of it because with a little patience I was able to get some control over 3 of the fingers but the baby finger and the one next to it, well they sort of just stand there stuck open. I didn't realize what a problem it was gonna be until I went to play the guitar with Mike one Saturday night. That's when I realized just how much control I had lost in that hand. Like a brick it hit me. Oh my God,,, I can't play the guitar !! What has happened ? I went to my family doctor because I had a really bad cold, and cough that was worse than anything I had ever had in my life. I have always had a bad cough, especially when I'm smoking so I didn't really think much of that either. While I was at the doctors I showed him my hand.

Now it seems I need a neologist (Dr. Tokar), a nice lady who gave me the once over. She brought me back for a second visit to do nerve conduction tests, blood work, xrays and a physical which I hadn't had for some time. It seems like all things are pointing to a stroke which I must of had during my sleep. She booked me for 2 MRI's which took forever to get but now they are done. I just finished the 2nd one this morning. It's been about 6 weeks now and the hand is still the same.

I don't have the results from the MRI's yet, but the xrays showed something that I have been freaked out about for 3 weeks now. I haven't been able to write about it yet mostly because it seems so unreal at this point and frankly I'm scared to death. It seems I have lung cancer. Right lung, right in the middle of the lung. This has just about taken my breath away. I had another physical and got my flu shot with Dr. Roberts 2 weeks ago and spent about 45 minutes talking with him about some of my concerns. He is a great doctor. He doesn't bullshit me and he calls a spade a spade. I like that in a person. No room for bullshit.

I told him I was scared and he says I would be "crazy" if I wasn't. lolol. See, a spade is a spade. He sat me down and gave me the "plan of action". First I need a CAT SCAN. This will show exactly what and where the problem is. After that, depending on the results, I will need a respiratory doctor here in St. Catharines. I told him my concerns about the medical care here in St. Catharines and he convinced me that there is good help here, just an old hospital. He could send me to Henderson Hospital in Hamilton but there is a good cancer doctor here in St. Catharines. He sends his family and best friend to this doctor because he is so good. Now I feel better about the doctor situation. Eased my mind a ton.

The next step is a lung biopsy to find out if it's operable. Surgery and chemo can happen here in St. Catharines, but radiation has to be in Hamilton as St. Kitts doesn't have that equipment.

Well believe it or not, that 45 minutes with Doctor Roberts made all the difference in the world. At least now I have a plan if all goes crappy and that's a good thing.

After this visit with the doc. I waited 2 weeks to get booked for a CAT SCAN - those people at the General Hospital don't answer the phone. It's crap like that, that scares the daylights out of a person. The waiting. it is so hard. You start to think really bad thoughts. Like is this cancer growing every day? Is it spreading fast? Boy thoughts like that are nasty. It can make you shake in your boots. Finally they called the other day and only because Dr.Roberts secretary kept after them, and gave me a date of Dec. 15 - this year !!! WOW imagine that, lololol. So as of now all is good. At least stuff is starting to happen for the good.

I have a great support system. Nipper is just the best. And did anyone think she wouldn't be ? She has always been my biggest fan (next to Denise of course). She is always at my side with a warm touch and a smile. She is my rock. No day goes by where she can't read my mind and know that it's not a good day. Within minutes she can change the course of my day. She is a blessing from God.

Denise is another blessing. That kid of mine is the most thoughtful kid I know. She is always there for me and she is a big believer in the "power of prayer". She often brings me back into the reality of the love of Christ. She has a very busy life with work and family but she still finds time to check in on me. I must of done something right.

My buddy Lynn is another "wonder woman" . She calls me or chats with me on MSN every day. That woman can make me laugh at the worst of times. She is a keeper.

My buddy Jo and her husband Bill. Great people. Jo is there with laughs, help, ears that listen, and good advice. (and she is a good cook lolol). They are away right now with their daughter who just had a baby girl yesterday. Jo keeps in touch everyday with email. She also is a keeper.

My Auntie Lorraine and Uncle Chuck, my direct prayer line to Jesus, have been a big support from the beginning. They have enough trouble of their own without my crap but they are still there, strong and true. I just love them to bits.

Even my Uncle Earl has joined the group with encouragement and prayer. I really do have a great support system.

My biggest disappointment is Dawn. She has abandoned me like we were never friends. It seems that Dawn can't handle the fact that I may be sick and has just "run away". I am surprised to be honest. I thought she would be right there. She did assure me that she will love me forever, and I guess that should be enough. Funny, I must be greedy then, because it didn't seem to offer me much comfort. All those years I invested in our friendship,,, what for ? But then again, she does have a new job, and a new love interest who lives far away. She is a busy woman with her own life. Sometimes I expect things from people and I don't have the right. Sometimes I think that everyone should be like me. I do feel bad about our friendship, but I'm not surprised. I do hope that she comes to terms with this. I think she has been through this before with Charmaine and she knows how mentally exhausting it can be. I believe that she is tired of having sick friends. That's sad because we are all getting older. Not much we can do about that. Still, Dawn is my best friend and I will not give up on her. She is a different sort of person, and although some think she is heartless, I know her better. She is a keeper.

I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone, family and friends, for all your prayers and support. I would be a mess without you. God bless you, you have kept my spirits up and my hope in tact. I love ya's

REMEMBER WHEN

Good Morning and Happy Thanksgiving.
As most of you know yesterday was the 2nd anniversary of my moms passing. The entire week was very difficult for me as it must of been for many of you. I tried several different ways to get through it and found nothing to bring happiness into my heart this week. Most of my friends are so busy with their lives that I can't turn to them for any kind of comfort without feeling like all I do is burden them with this same old story. I'm sure by now I have used up my welcome with most of them which is understandable but a bit depressing. However there is light at the end of the tunnel. There are some highlights to this crappy week. My cousin Debbie who I have just started to get to know again sent me a very short note saying that she was thinking of me this day. Boy you have no idea what that meant to me. For those of you that don't know what to say or are just to busy, let me tell you that those 4 little words from Debbie meant the world to me.

On Saturday I went for a drive and found myself at Auntie Lorraines house (Lori), and what a blessing that was! It was great to see her and her big smile and even bigger hugs. Man I love that lady. I think I scared the crap out of her hehehehe. She jumped about 2 feet in the air when I walked in the livingroom.
Auntie Lorraine was planning a "sad day" the same as I was, but God does what God does best. He brought us together at a time when celebration was called for, not sadness. Instead of pouting and the blues all day, we had a great time. It was refreshing to be in the company of someone who loves you unconditional and that is what we have for each other. It turned out to be a great day with turkey, stuffing, and good love. After my wonderful visit I came home and spent the night with Kenny, Michael and Nipper. What more can I ask for?

I AM BLESSED - THANK YOU JESUS !

Thank you again for your prayers...

An update on my neice, Robyn. She is now in Oakville Trafalgar hospital, close to home, and being assessed by their specialists. But the best news is that my sister thinks she may only have to be there for a week or so, not the months they had originally thought. Her progress is much faster than expected.

So, once again, thank you all!!!

PS I love your thought, Jo, about Sue & Nip: "With them at my side I am Mighty Mouse, there is NOTHING I can'd do!! Without them I am a total wimp." I know that feeling! I'll have to dig out the pictures of them turning my goat barn into my bedroom!!!! I never could or would have done it without them. Building a wall out of InterCity Papers skids stuffed with insulation... They are SO creative!!!

WHY DOES EVERYTHING TAKE LONGER THAN WE EXPECT IT TO!!

Nip and Sue, came last night to help me move all the equipment into my NOW studio(former sun room). I wish I had taken pictures of the sweat dripping off our noses, and a vocal tape recording of the all grunts!!! With, them at my side I am Might Mouse, there is NOTHING, I can't do!! Wthout them, I am a total wimp.

I had planned on being able to attack the garage(glazing room) tonight...but, it seemed a shame, that all this equipment, that had only got a lick and a promise of cleaning, before the move, should NOT look great in the new studio. So, I spent most of night cleaning it up. Nip, did you know that the pugmill(which took me the longest) is a wonderful blue and green colour, under all that grease?

Sue, where are the pic's of your wonderful Dolls????

Jo xoxo

GETTING REAL !

I BELIEVE !

FOR MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS

I believe- that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe- that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe- that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe- that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe- that you can keep going long after you can't.

I believe- that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe- that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I believe- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe- that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I believe- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe- that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe- that just because someone does not love you the way you want them to does not mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe- that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe- that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe- that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe- that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you , YOU will find the strength to help.

I believe- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe- that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I believe – that sometimes talking to strangers can help to heal your heart because strangers do not want to change you in any way just to heal their mistakes.

I believe – that today is going to be a good day and I pray that God will show you His love, compassion, understanding, friendship, forgiveness, but most of all, His presence in your life.

Sue

THIS WAS POSTED BY JOANNE - NOT SUE

Was there twice to-day. The Kitchen Saga....goes on and on. Apparently not only did we buy the wrong sink, it went back on Monday, but bought the wrong taps too, they went back to-night. Also, have made new friends there. Jeff, the guy who works in tile department, has been so helpful.

The Sunroom floor is sealed, and ready to start loading.

Had to stop by Nip & Sue's to-night. Sue is making these incredible dolls. She constantly amazes me...I don't think there is anything she CAN'T do. Please Sue post some pictures of your dolls to share with everybody. BTW how do you post the pictures? If there is a picture, with this post, nevermind.

Spent some time with Nip at the shop to-day, and heard all about Mary. I know, I would like her, and hope to meet her in person someday. Mary, you and your niece will be in my prayers to-night.

Jo xoxo

GETTING REAL !: 06_09

Thanks for the prayers!

And thank you for the kind words, Sue (your $20 is in the mail ;o)

Thank you all for your prayers for Robyn; fortunately she's young & strong & I have faith that she'll pull through. But it doesn't hurt to keep the good thoughts flowing to her!

Take care everyone!

BARBARA STREISAND

OMG ! Nipper and I are going to see Barbara Streisand at the Air Canada Centre on Oct. 17, 2006.

Joanne got us tickets to the "sold out" show for a gift !!!!!!

EAT YOUR HEART OUT STREISAND FANS !

I'm so excited. This is gonna be a very cool concert and I'm not going to get a cold or a toothache. That is what happened years ago when Dawn gave us tickets to see Phantom of the Opera. It was fantastic, but Nipper and I were both sick and there was a nasty winter storm. But we still made the best of it and had a great time thanks to Dawn my best friend.

HEY ! IT'S MARY - MARY Yahoo !

Hey buddy ! Nice to see ya. For those of you that have never met Mary, she is a very "cool" woman. Mary is bottom right of this picture and that is Denise (black hair) sitting beside her. The other "dude" in the picture is Dave, Nippers brother.

Mary, Nipper, Dave and I all worked together at Inter City Papers in Mississauga. This picture was taken in 1989. We also all lived together, although Mary had the biggest bedroom, we never held it against her lol.

We were all great friends, and unfortunately Mary's sister Dolores is not in this picture. She was part of our "gang" at work and after work. Mary and Dolores worked in the office and the rest of us were just "warehouse scum" lol.

When we weren't working like dogs, trying to please our boss, again a moment where this blog does not go into "nasty people", we were hanging out watching movies, drinking way to much, and playing Starsky and Hutch - ninja style.

Those were great times, well at least I enjoyed them. Never had an argument. Now that is an accomplishment eh. We just seemed to click and have been friends ever since. I wish we saw more of each other but Mary lives in the states and it's hard for both of us to get away.

Mary has a heart of gold. She is the kind of woman that will always rise to the occasion and give as much of herself as is required. The last time I saw Mary, she did one of those "surprise visits" but it was also the day we buried mom. I would have loved to spend time with Mary, but once again "timing" was not good.

A real bummer is that I don't know Mary's husband very well. I'm so sorry to hear that he has been going through some nasty heal issues. I will pray for him and for you Mary. Stay strong buddy and know that God heals his children all the time.

Wow, and your niece too. Man you are getting your share of crap eh buddy. These life threatening issues tend to drag ya down, but I know that you are a very strong woman, and you have lots of prayers coming in your direction.

So for those of you out there that pray and keep a friend in Jesus, lets join in prayer for Mary and her family. She is good people and deserves all the friendships and love she can handle.

Love ya Mary xoxoxoxoxox

MARY - MARY

GETTING REAL !

Good morning, old friends! And now it looks like I may make some new friends! And they appear to come HIGHLY recommended! ;o)

Just a quickie on my morning break, so I don't steal any time from my bosses (both wonderful people, so I feel guilty when I do!).

Current update: my husband has been through some really bad health issues the past couple of years, but is on the mend, off of the really nasty drugs (hopefully forever!) and getting back to his old self. Therefore, I am much relieved & getting back to my old (less-stressed-out) self. He still has some chronic issues that even the people at the Mayo Clinic couldn't solve, but they're not life-threatening, so he's adjusting.

I am working on my BA at night in Computer Information Systems (computer science with a management component) and am on my fourth semester. Lots of work & lots of time needed, but I think that I'm up to the challenge now. I've done a lot of growing up & introspection over the past couple of years; having your life partner in precarious health certainly gives you a wake-up call, and hopefully I've grown in the right directions (no, not outward around the butt any more, at least not since the last time I saw you guys, Nip & Sue!)

I found out last week that my 19-year-old neice, Robyn Kobli, had a stroke. She is being moved from Toronto Western Hospital to the Oakville hospital for rehabilitation, so she can be closer to home (my sister, Paula, is her mother). Prayers from any & all of you out there would be greatly appreciated; she has a long road ahead of her.

Well, I'm having trouble seeing what I'm typing since my eyes are getting bleary for some reason....

Thanks for including me, Sue & Nip. I miss you guys!!!!

love
Mary-francis

PUSHED TOO MANY BUTTONS

In more ways than one!!! The rip off artist, that took my loom, still hasn't sent me a receipt for the money that I gave her. I know, I really pushed her buttons, catching her in her lies. Way too long of a story, to go into now, and of no interest to anyone but me and my bank balance. No nasties allowed here...so Nina, I sincerely hope that you CAN sleep well.

Was going to put shelves up in my office tonight. But, figured, the wallpaper had to go first, so spent the night stripping it off....was not dry strippable, so got the first layer off....found my steamer and started steaming the rest off. Kept setting off the fire alarm, and Bill couldn't sleep, with the scraping etc. so I have got it half removed. Spent rest of evening with measuring tape, planning, etc. Am, so excited about this house!!!! It is going to be Awesome, when it is done....and you know, I have reached the age...that says..it doesn't have to be done yesterday...it will happen, in it's own good time, I have the rest of my life to do this....getting OUT of the firehall...was a biggie...NOW, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. There were times, in the last month, when I couldn't!!! I will LOVE Nip & Sue forever, for putting me back together, when I fell apart.

I actually woke up this morning...not exactly pain free, BUT, I could walk without limping, and bend over and get up, without help...THANK YOU, GOD!!! As hard as this move has been, and I really couldn't have done it without Nip and Sue's and Brenda and her family's help. I am actually feeling proud of myself....cause, I don't know, any other 60 yr old, that could do it, or is as strong, as I am. now. I am also feeling so grateful, for the wonderful people in my life right now....I don't know what I have ever done, to be so blessed!!! Thank you, Lord for sending me these Angels in my time of need.

JO xoxo

NO WORK TODAY ! JUST PLAYING AROUND AT HOME lol

Yesterday I spent the day painting the outside of Toby and Charlottes house. ARGGG stucco :(, white house, sunshine yellow garage doors and front door. I worked about 6 hours and only got the primer on the front,, omg,, I didn't realize it was such a big house. It's all good, it will keep me employed for another 2 weeks lol.

Hey Jo don't worry about the studio,, the people will come. We will get that hugh sign up and they will be blinded by the "white". I haven't forgotten you, I will get your central vac. hooked up ASAP. Sorry I haven't been by in awhile, but I have to work now and then lol. Thank God I have Toby and Charlotte or I would have to go back to "driver's ed" and I don't think I can do that. I don't have the nerve anymore.

I have been working in my backyard trying to get the new fence up. I sure can tell that I'm getting older. I have 14 posts in and I"m done. I think I will have to finish the job throughout the winter. The summer has almost done in my grass. I'm going to try one last effor to save it before the snow falls, but I think it might be history. That's ok, I will seed it next year. These hot summers were nasty on the grass eh. But my weeds are doing really well.

Thursday is my buddy Lynns birthday - 47 or something like that. I think we are going to celebrate on Friday night, and then a party on Saturday. Oh boy, that could be trouble, especially if she is feeling "like her old self again" lololol. Well, she had to come and rescue me once so I owe her, problem is 'WHO WILL RESCUE US !" lolololololol

Wednesday is my other buddy Chris's birthday. I think she is hiding, but I will make an effort to find her. Some people think it's just another day. NO WAY ! It's a celebration ! Every birthday after 50 is a celebration. See buddy, you made it to another one.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY !!

JUST PUSHING BUTTONS

To see what happens. Pushed Blog This!...I could read all the instructions, etc., but not my way.

Spent most of the day, trying to track down my kitchen counter.

Nip was in to shop and rolled out some clay. Amazing how well she is doing!!! I carried the clay out to car for her, and made her promise to make Sue, unload it once she gets home.

Tomorrow, going to take Bill, to get what he needs to hook up the kilns. Nip, will watch the shop, she had Quickbooks 101 this afternoon. She is a fast learner. Thurs. morning help is coming in way of son-in-law, to help Bill with the wiring, so we can start firing.

I look out at the Firehall, couple of times a day. I DON'T regret owning it, and I DON'T regret selling it. It was probably one of the greatest experiences in my life. But, it was time to move on. I love the new store. Still, needs some reconfigurations, but it has tons of potential. So, where are my customers???

Better go and get working on my OWL tiles, making them for The Owl Foundation, for their donor wall. Not getting any money for them. But, I will get a tax receipt and get to go and see the owls. Do you know that they go through 2,500 mice a week? Thanks to Nip I have a mouse to put on there tile.

Jo xoxo



GETTING REAL !

JUST PUSHING BUTTONS

To see what happens. Pushed Blog This!...I could read all the instructions, etc., but not my way.

Spent most of the day, trying to track down my kitchen counter.

Nip was in to shop and rolled out some clay. Amazing how well she is doing!!! I carried the clay out to car for her, and made her promise to make Sue, unload it once she gets home.

Tomorrow, going to take Bill, to get what he needs to hook up the kilns. Nip, will watch the shop, she had Quickbooks 101 this afternoon. She is a fast learner. Thurs. morning help is coming in way of son-in-law, to help Bill with the wiring, so we can start firing.

I look out at the Firehall, couple of times a day. I DON'T regret owning it, and I DON'T regret selling it. It was probably one of the greatest experiences in my life. But, it was time to move on. I love the new store. Still, needs some reconfigurations, but it has tons of potential. So, where are my customers???

Better go and get working on my OWL tiles, making them for The Owl Foundation, for their donor wall. Not getting any money for them. But, I will get a tax receipt and get to go and see the owls. Do you know that they go through 2,500 mice a week? Thanks to Nip I have a mouse to put on there tile.

Jo xoxo



GETTING REAL !

4:12 AM - WHEN SLEEP CAN'T FIND YA

Another night, or should I say morning. Sometimes this lack of sleep gets the best of me. I have been doing this for so many years I
think maybe it is just a bad habit now. I like it sometimes too. It gives me a chance to have some quiet time, and reflect on people, places and things in my life. You know, a kind of good, bad and ugly lol. I liked that movie especially that weird music.

Some of my friends say that they are having a hard time posting to this blog. I will have to figure out what the problem is. I know they are excited to join, don't give up, I will figure out what is wrong.

I was thinking tonight of Dolores. Wasn't she the greatest! For those of you that don't know who I'm talking about, Dolores was my moms "best friend" and a good friend to me when I was a child. She was a "different cookie" but a sweetheart none the less.

I have another name in my head - "TIPPY" - but for the life of me I can't remember who or what that was ? Anybody remember ? Makes me crazy when I can't remember stuff like that.

I was thinking about my old house tonight. Nipper and I put a lot of love and hard work into that old money pit. Not to mention all the work Uncle Chuck did. So thankful for his love and compassion during those times. That old house was gonna do us in and I do mean "when it fell in on us" lol. Thanks to Uncle Chuck and John the floor stood up and is still standing to my knowledge lol. I sort of feel sorry for the people who bought it. They are as blind as I was.

One thing is for sure. We had some good times there. Kenny and Mike still think that is their house because they grew up there lol. All good stuff, hard work, but good stuff.

Remember Roy my neighbor ! OMG - I promised I wouldn't say anything bad here, so........hmmmm.... ok,,, and God Bless Roy too. (lol)

Fortunately there was Ron and Patty. They were the best neighbors you could ask for and good friends too. I wish I could have brought them with us to moms house. Maybe the house next door will go up for sale ??? Think they will buy into it ? Hmmmm

Well maybe I can sleep now.. you know the computer affect. Stare at the screen and go blind. lol

Night all,,, love yas

NICE TO SEE YOU GUYS JOINING IN !

What a nice day ! No heat, just a cool breeze and lots of sunshine :) Today we took Kenny and Mike over to Sportscheck to buy a pair of Healy's ( running shoes with wheels) for his birthday. For the "first time" he had to use his own money lol and it felt GREAT for Nipper and I. It was a bit of a shock for him but we loved every minute of it lolololol. After that we took the boys home for some birthday cake. Ian's mom, sister, and her new love were there to celebrate with us. The cake was amazing ! Nice touch with candles and sparklers.

I see that you figured out this "blog" stuff - eh Auntie Lorraine. Nice to have you here. Maybe if we send a link to your kids they will join us? It would be nice to have the Cudmores and the Desroches here as well. What do you think?

I have been working on so many different projects. First with Lynn to help her get her new business off the ground - The Fitness Lynk "BOOTCAMP" - Women's Fitness and Wellness Centre". I painted the sign in the pic. for her. I believe that she will do well out in the boonies with this business. It all takes time, but I think all will be good.

Nipper and I have also been working at Joannes new pottery studio - "DOWN TO EARTH POTTERY. Nip is sharing the new facility with Joanne and a woman named Brenda. The girls are working together at the new studio, which is just for sales. The working studio is in Joannes house and that is where we have been helping out. Nip has done tons of work there, but the most amazing job was insulating the back sunroom. It was a hot day, and she is under the deck with insulation and plastic. There is no way you would get me under that deck. To many creepy crawlers for me. I don't think Nip is afraid of anything lol.

I have been working a little bit with the girls over there but I still have to keep my day job too. I work for an older couple - Charlotte and Toby. They are amazing ! They took me into their home and treat me like a daughter. My business - 3 EAGER BEAVERS - (lol it's just a name that tickled my fancy lol) is doing ok. Maybe if I really put my mind to it I could make something of it but then I would have to go to work everyday !! NO THANKS LOL

2 YEARS IN THE MAKING

Well it's been a long time coming - but here we go !

During the past 2 years I have sort of become a bit of a hermit. I've been going through some "growing" stages, some good, some not so good although definitely a learning process. I've made new friends, and lost old ones. Change is hard for me so I have discovered.

Since my mom passed away Oct. 7, 2004, I have sort of just been floating in and out of daily life. I didn't feel like anything in life could bring a smile back to my face. It took along time to see that mom wouldn't want this for me although many people have told me so. It's amazing how so many have so much advice to give, when all I really wanted and needed was shoulder to cry on and open arms to hold me. Hmm, all meant well, but few knew me well enough to let me be and trust that I will be ok, and I will come back to my senses. I'm happy now, or as happy as I can be considering where I have been.

I have invited some of my closest friends and family to join this discussion. I'm hoping that over a period of time we can get reacquainted and maybe even have stronger relationships. Life is too short to "not know" the people you love. As strange as that sounds, it's so very true. So many of us have drifted apart and that is so wrong. I hope we all make special efforts to really know one another and show the love and respect we have for each other here.

For those of you that don't know Lynn - well she is my "personal trainer". I met her at the gym after mom passed, and I hired her to help me "get back into some shape" for a woman my age. lol. I have to let you all know when I meet a person that is sent from God. Lynn has become a very good friend, and I am blessed with her kindness. She is one of the few people who took my bull and handled it with care. After mom passed away, Lynn scooped me up and helped me to heal and be the person I am. Credit should always be given to God's chosen, and she has been a strong influence in my life. Now I'm not trying to embarrass her, I just want my family and friends to know that there are some "really good people" in the world.

Another "honorable mention" would be Joanne. This is Nips pottery teacher, who has become a special person in both of our lives. Not only is she the most amazing potter, she is also the most amazing woman. Joanne has done for Nip what Lynn has done for me although I have also become very fond of Jo and we have formed a very strong bond as well.

I honestly believe that mom knew that I would lose my way after her death, so she sent Nip and I these angels to help us heal. I mean I did sort of put Nip through the ringer and I'm so glad she had an outlet during my absence.

For those of you that don't know this, Nip and Denise were so amazing during the last days of moms life. She had the best care that anyone could have. I am so grateful to both of them for the kindness and love they showed during those terrible days. I could not have gone through that without them. I love them both with all my heart.

PEOPLE I MISS :

OMG - I miss so many people but I especially miss Auntie Lorraine. She is "my connection" to mom. I love her smile, and her laugh and soon I will go to visit her. I am so comfortable and happy when I am near her. She gives me Jesus who I often can't find and it's so refreshing.

I miss Teresa, my oldest friend. She lives in Texas and I visited her after mom passed. I met Teresa when I lived with grama on Kirker in Scarborough. Lets see, we were 11 yrs old and we are 51 now - lol - lifelong friendships - another of Gods gifts.

I miss Steve and Mark, but I'm still sort of lost in that family unit. I'm working on it and with Gods help, it will work itself out.

I miss Dawn - most of you know her, she is sort of an honorary family member. My guitar playing buddy. She is busy with "life changes" and we sort of drifted apart.

I miss Marilyn and Cathy - but then who doesn't. Very special women , very different women, but both with big hearts. The 2 cousins I actually was somewhat close with. Again I guess we all go home to the Father.

I miss Dave LaBlanc - remember him ? - Auntie Zals son - I loved him, we were close.

I miss Grama - lol - she could make me smile, laugh and cry all in one sentence. lol

I miss "Family Occasions" - now that mom is gone, I feel disconnected. I know that this is where Auntie Lorraine jumps in an says "no! no! Suzie" - but remember these are just feelings and not always reality. lol

Ok,,, by now I have bored you all to death lol - the next posting will be all good stuff, I promise.

Common guys - JUMP IN THE WATER'S FINE !

FIRST POSTING - SEPT. 9, 2006

Today is Mike's birthday. 13 BIG ONES ! - it seems my babies are all growing just too fast. I use to think this years ago when Neen hit the big teen years but now as my grandsons head for their adulthood, I just marvel in the wonderful men I see them becoming.

Today is also my favorite "man friend" Danny's birthday. I dropped by with a card for him. Next week Danny and I are going to take the camper to the Niagara gorge and check out the jet boat jumps. Dan is very special to me, he has always been sort of an inspiration the way he gets back up after falling as hard as he tends to. Although he is a bit of a bad boy, lol, I love him and still respect him and I guess that is all I can hope for.

Nips knee surgery last week went well. She is mending faster than I thought she would, and her spirits are high. The body will never be perfect, but then again who's is ?

I also went to visit my mom's grave today. I haven't been there since "Mother's Day". Neen and Nip came with me. Neen bought a statue of an angel and wanted to put it there. Of course I couldn't get away without a few tears, but I handle it so much better now. Of course I miss Mom and I love her with all my heart, but I know she is with Our Lord Jesus, and there is no place she would be happier. She always holds a special place in my memories and heart, so I'm not really without her. Life does go on, and happiness is possible although at first I couldn't see how.
Now I can.

I'm going to get a new tattoo soon. The one I have "Sentimental Journey" was not really to my liking. The artists was not "all that". I'm going up to Cambridge and get Paul to fix it up. I know he hates doing those kind of tats but he is the only one I would trust now.

I'm hoping that my friends and family add to this blog. I would love to have a "diary" with comments from everyone, so please "be welcome here", and lets make this a place to get reacquainted.